Petrarch

Finals are drawing near and I'm doing all I can not to tank the last few weeks. Looking ahead I'm going to try to stick around the house and work on homework Saturday night to prep my final study guides. I don't know if I'll be able to deviate from my usual aberrent behavior. I can't shake the feeling that I could be missing some crazy drunken debauchery that I'll never have the chance to make up. It's almost an unrequited love.

The American Heritage Dictionary offers only one explaination: "unrequited. adj. not reciprocated or returned in kind". I think it a fair assuption that in colloquial context it can also serve the lovee not aware the true intentions of the lover, or any knowledge the lover's existance.

I can hardly recall the last time I truely felt it. Sometimes looking at old pictures of friends in high school recall that feeling, but it still feels like a story from a book instead of the current reality. It is a haphazardous emotion regardless, a future relationship built in perfect mental blueprints but lacking any form of implementation. The thoughts are purged during the day by simply being too busy. But the design returns to you nightly, sipping your coffee and having a smoke your mind drifts back to it again. It always comes down to a simple dichotomy of whether you really want to know. When you flip the first card, hoping for a "1" or
"2 and draw again" to get out of your base, you're accepting the fact that your opponent will eventually get a Sorry! and in step remove you. Even if you play right the game it is still chance.